Archive for November 2010

My Daughter: My Great Teacher of Strength of Will

The other night after I was thinking about ways we can strengthen our wills to achieve our dreams, I went into my daughter’s bedroom to give her a kiss goodnight and make sure she hadn’t kicked off all her blankets.  She had, as usual.  As I was gently pulling up the blankets again, I realized that she has a lot to teach me about strength of will.  About a lot of things, but the will part is what I was thinking about at the moment.

She has a very strong will.  I’m a person who might have had that kind of strength of will at some point but I lost touch with it along the way, and I’m endeavoring to re-cultivate that wonderful quality within myself now in a positive way.  

Hm… Why Does This Upset Me So Much?

My daughter’s strong will used to really trigger me, though.  When someone else really upsets us, it’s usually a sign that we’ve repressed some aspect of ourselves to “be acceptable” and the other person is just revealing that repressed part of ourselves to us in all its glory.  So, when I have the presence of mind to do it, I take the time to tap on my feelings until I feel better and I can come to a new place of understanding and healing about the issue.  Usually, this turns out to be some variation of allowing her to be who she is and allowing myself to be who I am. 

Look Around You For Your Best Teachers

As I often say, life is a great teacher of what we need to let go of in order to live in unconditional well-being.  And the people we love the most are often our greatest teachers.  Lili has been a great catalyst for a lot of good EFT tapping and healing for me over the years.  She’s taught me to honor what feels right to me, to take action as I am inspired, and to never give up on something I really want. 

She Acts as She is Inspired

She just turned ten.  She has always been the kind of girl who gets an idea about something that she wants to do and takes action immediately to do it.  I have to be careful sometimes about things I say at the dinner table because if it inspires her, if it gives her an idea of something she wants to do right now, then she’ll get up and enthusiastically start doing it and it takes a lot of effort to get her to wait and eat her dinner first.  But I do love that about her.

She’s always been that way; that’s just her natural inclination and who she is.  And it does take a lot of strength on my part as a mother not to squash that.  Of course there are limits and things I need to say no to, but I do my best to honor her will and support her in doing the things that she’s inspired to do as much as possible.

Keep Breathing and Tapping

I remember a time very clearly, back when she was little and she was getting very upset because things were not happening the way she wanted them to right away, I had this powerful realization that the power of her will was going to take her far in life if I was able to preserve it and honor it and help her channel it in a positive way.  This has been a challenge because, for the most part, our culture doesn’t really approve of or support children or adults in having strong wills.  We’re finding our way through and doing the best we can, as always.  Although we may falter at times, we do pretty well overall. 

The Beauty of a Strong Will

Now, at ten years old, Lili is continuing to grow and blossom into a wonderful, compassionate, creative girl who has a vibrant, strong sense of herself and what’s right for her in her life.  Her natural tendency is to be clear about who she is and what she wants and to take persistent action until she achieves it, enjoying the process the whole way, knowing instinctively that that’s a key part of living a happy life: enjoying the journey.

Yes, she has a lot to teach me.  And I am learning more and more each day.


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